Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Facts and Questions

When this year of solitary began, I knew it would be a chance for God to reveal things about me which I have avoided simply by being a busy wife and mom. Kids are grown and gone, husband is in Afghanistan for a year, and the in-laws moved into assisted living. I don’t even have a pet to take the focus off me.

The most surprising thing I’ve learned is that I no longer seek out friends. I can still “work the room” if I have to, but I much prefer hanging back and observing than actively trying to make new friends. I don’t remember being this way as a kid. Yeah…more years ago now than I’d like to admit, but still a valid reference point. There are several possible explanations for this change, but does it even matter? I’ve changed. Period. The real question is whether or not I need to do anything about it.

Here are the facts:

1. Army life means lots of moves and, therefore, lots of opportunities to make new friends.
2. Officers are supposed to look out for the soldiers and families within their unit.
3. I’m not really sure how much of #2 is the responsibility of officer spouses.
4. It makes no difference that I’m a Chaplain’s spouse when it comes to #3. It does make a difference that I’m a Christian who wishes to honor God by being used to touch the lives of people around me.
5. I strongly feel God’s leading in the area of writing. It’s a solitary profession. It encourages you to make friends with the people in your head rather than the ones next door.

Here are the questions:

1. If I wait for others to approach me, will I be missing out on potentially great friends and/or opportunities to minister to others?
2. Will I be failing my duty as an officer’s wife, or more importantly as one called by God to love those around me, if I hang back and wait?
3. Is God okay if I wait for Him to bring people into my life He wishes me to minister to one-on-one rather than actively seeking them? Jesus came to seek and save the lost. Can I do something different simply because it’s my personality?
4. Is the time and energy it would take to work at making friends taking away from the call to write? Is writing the way God wants me to seek out those who are lost?

There are a few months left to this solitary life I’m leading. In that time, my prayers will be for answers to the above questions. And, much as I like you all, I’m not asking for your opinions. This is between God and me. My call is different from yours; my situation unique. You have your own set of facts and questions. I’ll deal with mine. Will you figure out and deal with yours?

Until next time,


  1. Prayers as you discern, Becca!

  2. I liked what you had to say and resonate with it....
    Thanks for being truthful.
    Michelle Cohn


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