The problem is family life is so messed up in real life, the only exposure some kids have to "true love" is love in a movie. Here are some Hollywood myths contrasted with a little truth:
- Love is a feeling - Love is a verb
- You can't help who you fall in love with - Oh yes you can...and you'd better. You may not be able to help who catches your attention and fires up the libido, but you most certainly can counter "falling in love" with cold, hard facts about basic compatibility issues, family backgrounds, how many children do you want and who is going to be the primary caregiver, religious beliefs, etc.
- Having sex proves someone loves you and/or that you love them - Having sex means you have basic physical attraction and the proper plumbing.
- Sex is no big deal and you need to have multiple partners before you settle down - Having sex is a very, very big deal. Sex joins your soul with your partner's for life and when the relationship ends, you are left with less of yourself. Scientific studies have also proved that the more partners you have, the less enjoyment you feel physically, thus the constant prowl for a greater thrill with the next person.
- There is one person for everyone and, if this person isn't fulfilling your needs, he/she obviously isn't "the one" - Any two people who share common values and commitment can love each other (see #1)
- You will "just know" when the right one comes along - See #2 about cold, hard facts. To be absolutely truthful, there was an element of "just knowing" when I met my husband, but I also sat down and made a pros and cons chart about his character and all the things I needed in a spouse.
Until next time,