I have known I was living in denial since the day I dropped my husband off in the parking lot and kissed him good-bye for a year. I went home, finished packing for my own trip, and was on the road within an hour and a half. I've been working myself silly since then, but yesterday was my crash.
Thursday, my son came home. We celebrated, showed him his new house, ran around getting things he felt were essential (let's just say I should have bought stock in Best Buy!!), and yesterday we went to church where the kids spent their elementary years. It was great to see friends, but Nathan should have been there. And it hit me...Nathan will not be around for another 11 months to see and share the things I'm experiencing.
Cried like a baby inside but tried to hold it together outwardly. Not sure I succeeded.
I've not been reading the Psalms like I said I would. Instead of berating myself, I just went back to the beginning and stared reading until I felt comforted. It only took until Ps. 3. God is the lifter of my head!
Until next time,
Becca
Praying for you, Becca. Rejoicing with your son's homecoming and aching for the 11 months you have to go. May our Precious Redeemer give you joy for mourning (the separation from your husband) and a garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness. He is faithful. Still, take time to cry and mourn - it's okay...it's in your weakness that you will find strength.
ReplyDeletePraying for you Becca! And looking forward to seeing your smiling face again once you're back in town! :)
ReplyDelete