Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Fifth Wheel

I'm currently out at Cannon Beach, OR with my family.  For the past 22 years, my side of the family has met here for a week of refreshment and renewal at the Christian conference center on the North end of town.  We have not all been able to come every year, and sometimes we only manage a partial week, but there have been "Smiths" here consistently.

This year, my parents are here with all three of their children...me, my sister and my brother.  My sister's entire family is here.  Her married son lives in Cannon Beach with his wife who works at the conference center.  Their college age son is here.  My brother's entire family is here complete with two teenagers.  And then there's me.  My husband is in Afghanistan, my son is in Iraq, and my daughter is in Wenatchee, WA with her husband, so it's just me.

I've been doing pretty well with the whole "husband deployed for a year" thing.  My first week was full of driving and working on a house my son has purchased but never seen.  His first house deal fell through so he let me and my husband (who was still home at the time) pick a whole new house for him.  He's seen pictures but that's all.  I signed papers to close the house and am now working on getting it painted and furnished in time for his return from Iraq later this month.  Busy, busy, busy.  Literally got a blister on my feet while wearing fully broken in shoes from all the walking around furniture and appliance stores.

Now, I'm here in Cannon Beach taking a breather from all the busy-ness and, although I don't exactly wish I was back building blisters, I'm having a bit of a tough time being the fifth wheel.  I don't want family sympathy or my mother arranging nephews and neices to take me for walks, nor do I want to be left entirely alone.  What I want is my entire family here and nothing short of that is going to feel quite right.

The speakers this week are discussing the importance of staying encouraged through tough times and embracing change.  Hmmm.  You think God might be trying to tell me something?

So...that's it.  Nothing profound; no spouting of spiritual wisdom; no creativity; and I don't even want you to KNOW what I've been eating.  Yep.  Pretty much a waste of your time and effort today.

And yet, I'm not a complete mess.  Somehow, despite all of this, I've got this deep-routed, solid as a rock knowledge God is with me and has something important for me...just me..me.  But whatever it is, I'm also getting the feeling the antidote will be about you...all of you...more you's then I can possible imagine.

Until next time,

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