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Thursday, January 6, 2011

For Girls Only

When I told my daughter I wanted to write a book, the first thing she thought of was a compilation of the letters I've written to her over the years offering bits of advice.  The vast majority of those reading this are not going to be my daughter, and she's already married, but I'm going to stick my nose in and offer dating advice anyway.  Males need to tune out now...don't want to give away feminine secrets.

Dating 101 for Girls:
  1. Guys are never going to be more motivated to learn what makes you tick than when you are dating.  Your job is to teach him.  After marriage, the motivation will wane but, if you've done your job, he will at least have the knowledge. 
  2. In order to accomplish the above, you must know yourself well.  To quote the famous Dolly Parton, "Find out who you are, and do it on purpose."
  3. You must learn what makes your guy tick. 
  4. In order to accomplish the above, you have to get past the "mushy, gushy" time when anything you want to do is great with him.  Of course, this also assumes he knows himself well (see #2) so he can tell you or show you what that is.
  5. Now you can find out if there are at least a few things he loves to do which you also enjoy so, when you suggest a date night (because - face it, girls - after your married you have to do a lot more date night planning), it will be something you both will have a good time doing. This is what your parents mean when they say it's important that you have some things in common. 
  6. Pre-marital sex short circuits the whole process.  You become too attached too quickly and aren't willing or able to rationally assess any of the above.
That's it...at least for the 101 course. 

The 201 course will go into things like what to do if he has no interests of his own and always needs to be with you (run away), or his interest wanes after a couple months and he's not really making an effort to pursue you anymore (run away faster), or he's only after sex (run away fastest).  Hmmm.  Guess I spilled that lesson.

There's a  301 course and a 401 course, but I'll save them for another day. 

Until next time,
Becca

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