Hubby and I spent the weekend "suffering for Jesus" at the Denver Marriott. Yes...sometimes life is tough!
We did a marriage retreat and, as is our custom, he took the guys for an hour and I took the ladies for an hour. While we did cover a lot of good stuff, I've been kicking myself for the things I forgot to say...which is not letting me sleep well. So, whether you like it or not, YOU get to hear them:
1) Respecting your husband means you don't play "one up" with your friends when they start talking about what idiots men are. Respecting him in public is every bit as important as respecting him in private.
2) If you have trouble with #1, imagine these same women are using this language to talk about your son. Treat your husband the way you want a woman to treat that precious boy you love so much.
3) Should your marriage end in divorce, be very, very, very careful about the language you use when describing your ex-husband. Your sons are listening...so are your daughters. If all men are pigs, your son will learn to either hate himself or you. Neither is good. If all men are rotten, your daughter will interpret everything her husband does in the most negative way possible, dooming her to repeat the cycle of divorce.
4) Speaking of cycles, we have created a vicious one with all the "free sex" society advocates. Despite what movies tell us, you cannot join your body to someone else without also joining your soul. This is true for both men and women. Every time you break up with someone you've had sex with, your soul rips and scabs over. It doesn't take too many of these before you are callous about something God intended to be amazing. So...women become blase about sex, and men (whose self-image is tied up in their ability to please a woman sexually the same way a woman's is tied up in being able to please a man visually) learn to either please themselves through porn and/or masturbation or to use women up like paper towels. Creating more calloused women and more frustrated men. Nice, huh. Please...please, teach your children to wait. Please!
5) The greatest compliment you can pay your husband is to be happy. A sour expression makes him (and everyone else) wonder what is wrong. Knowing men like to fix things, your constant frown grates on him like a never-ending list of chores does on you. Light up when he comes home. At a party, cross the room just to be with him and show everyone how glad you are to be his. Force it until it becomes a habit. SMILE!
There are probably a few more, but these are the ones keeping me awake. I would love to hear any tidbits of wisdom you think should be passed along at the next retreat.
Until next time,